Damsel in Nightmare Distress

I have heard it said that nightmares are what our reality would be if we had lost all control. I have also heard it said that they are nothing but suppressed feelings and memories, sometimes distorted ones. Lately, my two most intense emotions have been anger and sadness. Both, I fear, have been suppressed and ignored, so they manifested themselves through nightmares. In the day, I have the feeling with no pinpointed explanation, when I close my eyes for sleep, I have more explanation than I know what to do with.

I have a friend whose life is a hot mess. Reminds me a lot of the Katy Perry song “Hot and Cold”. I have seen her so sad, and yet I have seen her so vibrant. No one’s happiness depends on themselves, but hers is dangling right in front of her face. Where is her happy medium?

In the past few weeks, I have been having nightmares of me yelling at her about things that are potentially hurtful, and could do major damage if this was a real life occurrence. The same battle happens over and over each time I go to sleep, and when I wake up, I catch myself saying “I’m sorry” repeatedly. Almost as if I thought it were real and haven’t quite bounced back into reality. When dreaming, I know exactly what I am saying and in some cases, I recognize it is all a dream even when I am in the middle of it. Yet when I wake up, I can’t recollect a single word I had said to her; however, my anger doesn’t subside. How does a person overcome something that isn’t tangible?

Nightmares are no stranger to me, so I don’t blame her for this one; although, no other nightmare has ever been this close to being realistic. I am planning on talking to her about this with hope that it will put these intense feelings at ease, but exactly how is this matter brought up? Something that is so grave to me could mean so little to her, or even worse, she could take offense. With her it’s easy for things to get out of hand and have a simple conversation be turned into an unnecessary altercation. Do I subconsciously have these feelings and thoughts towards her or is my anger of other life events being unintentionally taken out on her? How is it that I explain what I can barely remember but rather go on by feeling? How would I make the connection of something so unknown to another person? More importantly, why? Why am I saying these things to her in a dream when I haven’t even had the thought of saying them to her in actuality? Why am I so scared of a simple little nightmare? And why am I so hesitant to talk to her (the one person who I am supposed to be able to tell anything) about it?